Group Reading with friends-reading aloud together Mark with response and prayer. One main question-What does my life mean in light of the text? This week we read chapters one-four, and i think its hard to answer that question without first identifying what I notice within just this portion of the text.

There must have been something in His mannerism in His voice or perhaps it was mere curiosity or anything to get away from the every day fishing(their job) that led Simon and Andrew to drop their fishing nets and James and John as well. (Question-what would he have asked me that would stir my heart my curiosity and would make me drop my responsibilities or perhaps what i thought was important?)

Right away Jesus starts teaching and from the crowds perspective his teaching, his mannerism, his presence are so different from the other scholars and religious leaders-the spectators are surprised. And then he is healing the sick and sending demonic spirits packing-and the crowds are again surprised who is this man? What is this new teaching? The demonic spirits and those who are healed get who he is-and Jesus tells them to shut up, don't tell. And Jesus continues to teach to heal and then even to forgive sins. (Which I can't but think about all the religious laws that were established for purification and the forgiveness of sins-going to the temple preparing the choice meats having a priest go into the inner sanctuary or all the laws on unclean vs. clean? Would I have thought yes! we don't have to go through all those steps to be clean or forgiven or would I have thought him crazy and reckless and would I be to afraid to brake out of the mold I grew up with? Would I have said, "Who is this man that even the wind and the waves obey him?"Or would I have understood the power, the authority, the glory of the kingdom at hand, would I have received the revelation( the huge picture) that he was slowly imparting through each act and teaching.)

Where is my heart, would I have received the message? Or like the seed would it have fallen on deaf ears? He taught to them at the level of their maturity? What is my maturity level? Does the seed take root? Does it grow and blossom? Or does it dry up get replaced get pushed aside?

The past few days I've been house sitting for friends and enjoying a bit of a retreat. They live outside the city of Portland in Falmouth amidst the large sometimes fabricated homes. But their's has a charm a beautiful backyard with fur trees and nicely landscaped flower beds, a tire swing-that I almost fell off of while trying to get on, and a screened in porch with bright blue swing where I spent a better part of my day taking in the surroundings. Its nice not to wake up to the sounds of large trucks rushing by my bedroom window. I don't mind the city but having grown up in the country there is a part of me that will always find it comforting. However some might complain that the crows are entirely too loud or that the school traffic in the morning is as just as loud as the city trucks.

It was nice not to work a holiday shift for a change-back to work tomorrow. Smiling, welcoming, seating, smiling, welcoming, seating.......and so on. I don't mind it when for the most part it pays the bills. However, I don't recall in third grade ever responding 'when I grow up I want to be a hostess.' And then I start thinking about society and how we have totally lost it or rather have not changed at all. Aristocrat:Executive Farmer:Farmer. We belittle the man who works 60 hours or more on his farm, sets a good example for hard workmanship, and the support of a family because we get into our heads that a high executive position is better and entitles the person to more dignity. A big window opens for low self-esteem, love is distorted is lost.

The colors of the fall right around the corner. Awe inspiring to see creation ebb and flow. The simple growth of a plant, the way a flower spreads it petals towards the sun, the dying of a tree and how even in its death can look so beautiful, the way water can be become muddied when you lift your foot from the ocean floor, the scurring of a squirrel as it winds its way up the tree, or the way the sun breaks through the fir trees and casts its ray on the forest floor resting on the ferns and creating so many hues of green, the way wind sweeps in and can change a scene. All so intricately woven together not by mistake and not to be unnoticed. I am not trying to be over spiritual as I right these entries but my heart wants to be always seeking after God and the beautiful mysteries and revelations of his kingdom his love and all sufficient grace. And how can you not look at creation and not see the revelation of scripture and the beauty and majesty of God. I think its one of the biggest ways the spirit works within my heart.

But there are so many things that can keep me from relishing in his glory. So many ways in which I can destroy the work that he is trying to do in me and His kingdom. Whether its through my selfish desires, and sin that so easily entangles like an irritation or rash that spreads and becomes more infected if not treated. How awesome that God sees the depth of my heart when I stumble and my faith is small He never fails to love. When I become angered, when I am bitter, when I am blind and deaf to others and their needs, when I am lazy and ignorant, and when I create a wall of idols between me and God I am just like those Israelites wandering in the desert who even after the freedom of slavery become hardened in their hearts. Oh that I might remember the purposes of God His indescribable uncontainable sovereignty and beauty of the cross.

You give and take away for my good for who am I to say what I need.
For You alone see the hidden parts of me that need to be stripped away.
And as You begin to refine, I'm learning to let go,
To rely on one who walks with me,
As hard as it may be You're teaching me all the while to say-

Bless the Lord, O my soul, all that's in me bless His name.
Forget not Your power untold, not Your glory or Your fame.
For You came to heal the broken, to redeem and make me whole.
Bless the Lord, O my soul.

Though my faith may falter and my strength fail,
I pray for eyes to see, the richness of Your mercy shown to me.
Bless the Lord.
-Laura Story